Why change is so difficult? Why are we longing for change so badly, but always find it so difficult to stick to new habits?
Surface-level reasons
Can you relate to any of these quotes of my clients’ below?
“I know I should be exercising, but there is always something else I prioritise?”
“I really want to become successful, build a name and gain more clients, BUT I can’t find the motivation!”
And
“I am not strong-willed”. “I am just too lazy”.
Root causes of not making a change
The line above is not quite true! To build a new habit, be more disciplined and consistent, you first need to dig deep. Explore what are the benefits of achieving this goal for you, and what are the benefits of staying the same and doing nothing.
Simple exercise for self-analysis
This simple yet very powerful exercise will bring a lot of insights.
When my clients come to me with a specific goal of building a habit or achieving something, we often start by filling in the four squares (similar to Descartes square). And sometimes, they realise that benefits of achieving that goal are much smaller than staying the same. It is practically impossible to trick your brain to do something consistently that has no benefits to you.
Often, they realise that this is not THEIR goal at all – it may have been their family injunctions.
Or they realise HOW important the goals is! This exercise will show how many disadvantages there if they stay passive and don’t take actions towards achieving the goal. This sobering reality acts as a fuel of being consistent to achieve the goal.
It may also show if the cost of change is very high, therefore subconsciously we will be running away from the goal, as this will lead to great changes in our lives.
Keeping the ‘why’ in mind in moving forward
When you uncover your real self, your true goals and benefits behind them, it is much easier to stay on track of consistency. Constantly reminding yourself of why you are moving forward AND what ‘damage’ the opposite will bring to your life.
If you are struggling with changing a habit or achieving a goal, book a chat with me – we can dig deep to uncover what are the roadblocks towards moving forward.
