Core values: are these some trendy words in the world of self-development, or are they important things that define us?
Living in accordance with our true values is vital for a happy life. But often those values are buried deep within us and we are instead driven by societal norms and external values.
From our early years we act in a certain way to fit into the social narrative and feel we belong. Being on top of all the current TV shows means you fit in. Knowing about social media trends makes you look fashionable. And in some cultures, alcohol represents power and connection.
You may find yourself at a crossroads, being driven by marketing and wanting to fit into society, but also knowing that this means doing something that takes you away from your goals, from what’s really important to you. Drinking after work every day, for example, or spending all your free time watching TV instead of more satisfying or fruitful pursuits.
When we listen to that internal voice reminding us of our true values, it helps us to align our priorities, our thinking, our decisions and our actions so we can live in a way we feel good about, no matter what anyone else is doing.
Conversely, when we ignore that voice and behave in a way that contradicts our values, it’s almost impossible to feel good about ourselves, no matter how things turn out.
The source of true contentment is living a life in which your actions honour your values. People who do the right thing – even if it takes more work or is less immediately satisfying than taking an easier path – feel much better about themselves that those who take their cues from more superficial influences.
Changing behaviours and habits is challenging, but our values are a compass that can guide us towards what we want to achieve in life while also defining the standards of behaviour we expect from other people. Addictive behaviours and bad habits, on the other hand, take us away from our values.
When our actions align with our values, we feel content and achieve more. That’s why it’s important to elicit your values and identify what is truly important to you. Thinking about your own core values – and maybe writing them down – is such a useful exercise and really brings your true self into focus. I do this exercise with my clients – as a part of my 3 months habit change coaching program and during the transformational coaching sessions.
